Shalom Y’all; June 20th, 2011

Shalom everyone!

It has been quite the experience living on this kibbutz for so long, with essentially no contact to the civilized world whatsoever, aside from my handy dandy laptop. I’ve had such a great time here, excluding a few bored nights, and I am sad to be leaving so soon! My flight leaves at 1 am *shudder* on Friday morning. I guess it’s best though to have such a dreadfully timed flight — as it will bring me into New York around 5:30 am after an overnight flight of 11 hours. Hopefully, I’ll be able to sleep for most of it! On the way over, I was not so lucky.

I just arrived back to my room from the pool, and am having a very hard time dealing with body image. I’ve always found it hard to be in a bathing suit in front of others, but I have not been able to work out at all since I arrived here and I’m feeling much worse about myself than usual. That’s not to say I haven’t lost weight though. I honestly don’t know if I have or haven’t. All I know is that I am going to feel so much better once I’m home, on a normal work schedule, and can start going back to the gym. It will be such a relief.

I’m also so excited for the school year to start back up again. I’ve started to consider Psychology as a new career path, as opposed to architecture. I’m not sure what I want to do yet, but I feel like, having had so many experiences myself within the field, it would be a crime not to at least explore that option.

This past weekend, I went with my friend J to Jerusalem and we spent a day and a half with her congregation, who just happened to be on a trip to Israel while we were here. It was so nice to be around a group of adults and have mature conversations. My only complaint about living here on the kibbutz is that most of the people here are not very mature, and the majority of them do a lot of drugs. I don’t know about them, but I definitely didn’t come to Israel to start smoking every day and snorting hard drugs in front of 12-year-old Israelis. Regardless, Jerusalem was beautiful and it really made me remember and cherish the time I’ve had here in Israel. It’s such a huge part of Jewish history and I am really happy I was able to have this opportunity. This trip wasn’t about losing weight, though my ED would love to tell me otherwise; it was about me growing as a person and experiencing new things, which I certainly have.





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2 responses to “Shalom Y’all; June 20th, 2011

  1. I am so sorry you have had ED ragging on you :/ He has no business on your vacation! Find confidence in yourself, know what you have accomplished in recovery, Being away in Israel would not be possible without making huge strides against ED. You are amazing!

    I have looked into psychology as well, and I am really interested in it! I think we DO know quite a bit about psychology, and why not look into it? I am interested seeing what you find, as you have had the same history as I have…

    Have a wonderful flight!


  2. i feel the same way about not being quite sure where to direct my studies…i’ve been thinking about psychology also. It seem to be a good path for you as well, definitely a great field to get into (so is architecture of course)

    Stay strong love ❤ ❤


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