I honestly cannot believe how quickly I have been able to turn this around. Of course, I am still struggling. I woke up this morning with tremendous body image issues and ED took his cue as per usual. But I refused to listen; I am going to college next year and I don’t have the time, nor the patience, to deal with this pesky nonsense.
Today was an okay day minus the fact that I am getting sick! [now, in unison everyone]: Booooo.
I hate being sick. I never used to get sick, but obviously I now have a compromised immune system and voil’a: sickness arrives. It’s just such an annoyance. And it makes me hate ED even more.
Anyways, I would like to get back to my opening quote! We were watching a movie today in philosophy and it opened with this…
“Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” Rashi
I’ll be honest, I wrote it in my agenda and added putting up a post today to my long list of “to-do”s because I had to share this with you all. I know, with me, I tend to blow absolutely everything out of proportion. (i.e. this past week, ladies & gents). Nothing in the world ever seems so simple as to just let it go and move on. But in essence, everything is.
This is LIFE. This is not a test run. This is not a “try-out.” This is legit, the real deal, the big shebang.
Are we really prepared to shave years off of our lifespan just to be thin, to attempt to obtain an unobtainable idea perfection?
Are we truly going to spend the rest of our shortened lives chasing after something we may never get?
I don’t know about you, but I’m really not willing to give up so much for this evil little man in my head.
When I first began preparing myself to go away to school, I entertained the idea that ED would join me for the ride. Together, we would conquer the world of anorexia one pound at a time. Without any supervision, life would exist as an amazing constant high of starvation & alcohol (but not too much, WAY too many calories). Fortunately, I have received treatment since then and no longer want ED tagging along for my college experience. While I know I will have to deal with triggers & urges at some point down the road, I no longer want to live with my anorexia and I am working everyday toward living a healthy lifestyle. Life need not be so complicated and calculated. Simplicity truly is key. Life is both inexplainable and unpredictable, and the sooner we can accept that, the sooner we can move forward.
Time for some eats, no?
& the Look from yesterday;
That’s about all I have for my rant today folks! My goals for tomorrow: make a proper lunch instead of an apple and high-cal clif bar, start getting unsick, and embrace the simplicity in my life! No need to complicate things; I’ve never been a “roll with the punches” kinda gal but I’m starting to think I may try it out sometime soon.
Love You All!